Will, Your Baby, Be Spoiled If You Don’t Sleep Train

Will your baby be spoiled if you don’t sleep Train? Its a question I get asked a lot when a client of mine emailed me. I recently felt concerned about what a co-worker told her about her baby I felt compelled to share my thoughts with you. This clients co-worker had told her that if she didn’t sleep Train and let her baby cry it out. Her baby would grow up to be spoiled. She alluded to the fact that by the time he was 7 or 8 years old, he’d be “running the show.”

The positive thing about this particular client was she had experience with two very different cultures. One is in the West and one in the East. In the West (where she lives now) she feels tremendous pressure to let her baby cry it out. In the East, in her experience, this is unheard of and co-sleeping until the age of three is the norm. Of course, as we know very well, not everyone in each culture follows the example. And, given the number of clients I work with daily on no-cry methods, I would argue that there is no “norm” in the West.

I believe most parents try to limit crying. Not sure of any parent that likes to hear their baby cry, though.

Will your baby be spoiled if you do not sleep train her?

I feel that sleep passionately, and it is imperative to the point where there are hundreds of websites focused around it. Our website is complete with our 1-2-1 support to help you through it, however in all honestly this must be one of the more absurd things I’ve heard in a long time without meaning to offend anyone who feels strongly about sleep training. There is a level of what is acceptable or not.

To put pressure on a parent to say that if you don’t sleep train a 6-month old. He will be “running things” in a year, three years or ten years is simply ridiculous!

Does that mean I believe you should give up and NOT sleep Train? Not at all.

Work on it, YES. But don’t make it your life’s mission or sacrifice your beliefs because you believe your baby will turn out to be a terror if you don’t.

Your 6-month old is not meaningfully manipulating you. The 8-month old twins are not intentionally conspiring to keep you awake at night (as much as it might feel that way). Your toddler is not planning his night-wakings to correspond with that work deadline the next day.

Our babies are simply not NOT sleeping on purpose. As much as my five years old says on the odd occasion that he is not tired and he doesn’t need to sleep. He still sleeps through the night every night (unless he has a nightmare or is ill). We have managed to successfully establish healthy sleep habits when he was young and worked hard to do so. But by no means did I think if we hadn’t. He’d be a spoiled brat because at times some would definately say he had been.

However, as the adult, I just know he just needed the sleep!

So to me, it makes more sense that there will be some non-sleep-trained babies that are spoiled and others who are not, just like there will be spoiled sleep-trained babies and those who are not. Why? Because being spoiled comes from what we do with our children day in and day out. It might be related to sleep, it certainly won’t help the situation, but it might not.

For example, as a baby grows into a toddler, and she is allowed to come into your bed every night, she is learning one of two things:

1. She can get whatever she wants OR
2. She can go to Mummy and Daddy whenever she needs them and feel secure

Which is it?

One of the keys to navigating this crazy thing called parenting is to learn your baby’s temperament. All children need limits to feel secure, but they also need confidence and to know they can go to their parents when they need them just the same.

By far, I am by no means saying I am a perfect parent (oh how I wish I were!). But somehow I have made sure I have given my son the “ok” to come to me for a nightmare. Or when he loses his “blankie” when it falls between the crack of the bed and the wall.

Yet set enough limits to make sure he stays in his bed all night if he does not truly need me. This journey has not been a perfect road. Nor a short route, and sometimes I feel like we never quite ever get off the road. But when I think back to the baby I once had. I know just how far he’s come. I would say he does have his “spoiled” moments. Even though he is “sleep trained” and we are trying our best to teach him humility and appreciation. Yet another parenting challenge that does not happen overnight.

What now then 

If you need help establishing healthy sleep habits in your baby or toddler, please be sure to pick up your FREE 5 top sleep tips to help your baby sleep better. Using our unique approach and the success of our practical tools will happen. I can help you. And your baby achieves this and have them sleeping through the night and nap better.

You are looking for a more customized solution for your unique situation.

You wish to support all the way. Then dont spending hours you are reading books and websites for the answers. On most occasions, you will find you not able to find them when you need them. I would advise you to consider our 1-2-1 baby and toddler sleep program, where you will receive a Personalized Sleep Program, which you can feel confident about doing!

Sometimes it’s not that you can’t make a plan. Sometimes you’re just too tired to.

To book a call with me where we can chat about your sleep. Alternatively, email me for more information about the programs I offer. I am happy to answer any questions about my program you may have to ensure you are on the right path to great sleep 🙂