Let me explain why this occurs.
Powerful Things happen to your child’s sleep when you have them one-to-one time!
Here we are, right in the middle of our family lives, which consists being inundated with a huge to-do list, work, household chores, and a lot of meetings. It can feel like there simply isn’t enough time in a day to allow us to even start to get things done on our lists- Let alone adding to it by spending individual time with each child. By giving your child time, by which I mean more than just watching a movie with them or simply being in the same room as them. By the time, I mean truly giving one on one, involving complete and utter undivided attention to your child. To do this, it means your cell phone is on silent. The TV is off. No chores are doing done at the same time. Simply and utterly ALL other distractions that are going on around are being ignored.
For the few precious minutes, 15–20 minutes to be exact, your child is all your attention is focusing on. In these 15 to 20 minutes, your time with your child will be about playing games, such as hide-and-seek, pretending with a dolls house or Lego. Getting dressed up as a character, racing & playing with cars, playing & running in a park with games such as freeze tag or musical statues. Cooking. Building some new together. It can be any, whatever it is you and your child will enjoy doing together. What is most astounding is the power that this type of time has, and especially on their sleep!
When a child knows that when bedtime comes they have your undivided attention, meaning that if this then becomes the only time of day that you spend it with them, then it becomes very clear and even very understandable that they would then do anything to keep the situation going for as long as they possibly can. Therefore, the simple and effective idea behind making one to one time with your child is ensuring the need for attention from your child’s is fulfilled during the daytime. Meaning they will be much less likely to attention seek at bedtime, or in some cases severe cases, the middle of the night. It is important to know that this should not be part of the bedtime routine or replace the bedtime routine. A Bedtime routine is very important for a child to help understand the situation, and the purpose of bedtime routines are designed to help babies or children cope with and handle the transition to sleep time.
This means that although they are getting one to one time with you again during bedtime routine it should never be any form of super interactive or playful games. These are best to be done during the day. So I hear a lot of you say, how do I make time for my children on a one to one time? I would suggest if you have a planner, then use this to schedule it in at a suitable time during the day. Include it on the to-do list. Set yourself a reminder on your phone & make it one of the priorities to do. If you are not someone who has a planner, then I would ask you to look at this also as this can be super helpful for children to know what is coming and when 😉. During the day make sure it can be fitted into your day somehow or some way. Should you be a parent of more than one child then I suggest you will find the best result when you give each child 15-20 minutes of individual time every day.
If you simply aren’t able to this with each time, then I’d recommend trying to be with each child every other day. This becomes the most and more powerful situation when the family situation consists of just one parent and one child at a time. When the household has two parents, then taking turns between you both with each child will ensure each child spends the best kind of time with each parent equally over the week, and importantly at least one parent every day.
All this will create the best kind of quality time with your child, ensuring your child has the secure foundation they need to help to take them into the world. It will create a solid relationship and the right type of attachment to you, which will, in the end, promote and encourage your child to have healthy self-esteem and confidence in their developing independence. With a great night’s sleep for everyone to top it all off!
If you wish help with your child sleep, need advice and guidance on how best to achieve these within your family then please feel free to reach out to myself where I will be very happy to help you create the happy positive family you wish.